Navigating Gender Roles and Reciprocity in Modern Relationships

There, you don’t embarrass me. People are confusing reciprocity with 50 and like men leading. There’s just so many concepts being confused in this. Hi, I’m Surea and I have studied economics and I’m also a Ricky practitioner. So let me bring in a little bit of like material and spiritual lens on this. Okay, healthy relationships require people to both be extremely invested in the success of what both people want long term. And I know this because I’m finally in one, right? And it’s not about men have to do like more. They have to like it. It, it’s there’s so many convoluted understandings because honestly, like pop feminism has just like popped off on the internet and now people just confuse all these concepts. So I will iterate in the early dating stages, if you are somebody who looks to date men, yes, it is a very good sign if the man takes initiative, plans things, pays for things, because they do when they really love you and they want to impress you. After the early talking stage, you enter the relationship probably with the view of wanting to see if you can spend the rest of your lives together there. And at that point, it’s really about what both of you are bringing into the relationship.

Quick example, first time I went to visit my partner because I felt like he was the one and we were figuring things out. He had an itinerary plant and like Open Table bookings for every single meal of that weekend. Okay. And then as a relationship progressed, we did take turns like treating each other. I love spoiling people. I love. And of course, I picked up a Bill sometimes because it’s only fair. And we also know when each other are having financial, you know, every person regardless of gender has different capacities on a month to month basis. This is real life, not some fictitious like figment of imagination. Ideal relationship led ideal relationships are different person to person. I know. Boom. Shocking concept. So one, a man says he expects things also in a relationship. I think from everything I’ve seen with Jay, like Jalen and Monet, these are two people with high self worth who have to work really hard to get there. And I mean, it is honestly, there are some days where I can’t give a lot and my partner can’t give a lot, but we’re giving whatever we can to the growth of both of us. And there are some days where I give more, he gives more, just depending on, because every day you wake up with different energy levels, especially if you’re neurodivergent like myself. So yeah, let’s sort of reel all of this in a little bit, can’t we? Healthy relationships, take it as we’re both in this with whatever we’ve got for our long term success. If that means divying up rent by whomever, you know, if somebody earns more than you, it doesn’t matter. Sometimes I be earning more than my partner.

Like, you know, like, no, this is not about recreating patriarchal views. There’s a difference between the early talking dating stage and what allows a relationship to sustain long term. And I just think people are getting way too confused with these different concepts and making everything about like misogyny, feminism, etc. When really each couple has something that works for them that if they’re having frequent and healthy conversations around what they’re bringing to the table financially, emotionally, energy wise, it works because it’s energy exchange. And let’s not even get into how money. I mean, if we look at money as just a way to facilitate energy exchange, like then you can also look at somebody like spending a lot of time helping you with your chores or helping do things for you as also valuable because it’s not just about a dollar value that a person brings to the table. It is about how honestly and vulnerly they can show up in a relationship. That is the greater checkmark, not what a person earns necessarily. You have to see how they behave and treat you. Okay.