Reflecting on Nine Years of Marriage: A Journey of Growth, Love, and Parenthood

Ready with me for my nine year wedding anniversary dinner. And while we’re at it, let’s give an honest review of my nine years of marriage. Sam and I got married in 2015. That feels like another lifetime ago, truly. And now we have been together nine years, which is just crazy. Technically, we’ve been together like almost 15 because we started dating when we were 15. But let’s talk about nine years of marriage and all thing for that brings this, give you like the good things and kind of like the big takeaways.

But I will confidently say this has been my favorite year with Sam. I feel like we both have settled into ourselves, which is something like the people told me. Like your thought there’s something about your 30s that you just like really know yourself. So if you’re confident in who you are, you don’t really care what other people think. It’s been really cool to see how that also like translate into our marriage. I feel like we both are just happier. And when you’re happy on your own, it’s so much easier to bring happiness and like content, interior marriage, relationships, all the things.

But beyond that, I will say I feel like another thing too is just like as you grow up and get older, I feel like it’s a lot easier to not take offense to as many things and to not take things so personally all the time. Maybe that’s getting older. Maybe that’s just maturing or maybe that’s just like being with somebody for a certain amount of time. But there’s so many things that I used to take offense sense to and take so personally. And now it’s like, I just feel like we have such a good understanding of each other and how the other person works and understanding the, like not everything is a personal attack against each other. And to just give each other Grace and like, and assume the best in each other.

I feel like that’s one of my biggest pieces of marriage advice after nine years is assume the best in your partner. Don’t go looking for things that will upset you or things that they’re doing wrong because you’re probably gonna find something if you’re looking for it. So just don’t go looking for it. Assume the best in them. Assume that they’re not trying to hurt your feelings or offend you. And I’ve just found that like by doing that, we are just so much happier.

I also feel like we’ve really gotten to the swing of being parents. Like I know that sounds dumb, like we’ve been parents for almost four years now. Not like I felt like we weren’t in it before, but it’s been really cool to see how like we really have settled into our roles as parents. And I think it’s like pretty cool.

We’ve, I feel like we’ve got a system down. I feel like we both play an equal part, but they’re definitely different parts. And that’s perfectly okay and normal. And we both have really settled into and like embraced our different roles, had to look back and say like, what was the toughest year of marriage? I honestly, I don’t, first of all, really remember. Like, we’ve definitely had our tougher moments, but I wouldn’t say there’s ever been like a tough year. Like I feel like there’s been tough periods of time, which is normal, but I wouldn’t say we’ve ever had just like a consecutively difficult year. I think one thing to point out is like, I do feel like in the beginning of marriage, like something went wrong or if we were in like, in like a tough phase, it felt so permanent to me. Like it was such a scary feeling, like, oh my gosh, this is forever. Like we’re married now. We’re forever if we’re in a tough phase. And that means it’s always gonna be tough. And like, biggest thing I could say is like tough phases and just like they do with kids. Like I feel like as a mom, I Learned that like all the tough phases that you go through, there is an end to that. It’s hard to see it sometimes, but like there is an end and like things will work out and things will be okay. So if you’re in a tough like spot or you feel like maybe things are kind of off, like I just feel like I remember thinking it was like so permanent and being like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, like end of the world. But it’s not. It’s normal to go through cases in marriage and in life and in motherhood and all the things. So I feel like now too, that I see that and I’ve understood it and kind of gone through that enough times, like when we’re maybe like not in, we’re not like in perfect harmony. I’m like, it’s okay. Like that’s okay. Things will be fine. And just like keep doing your best and things will work out.

Sam and I were already extremely comfortable with each other by the time we got married because we had dated for such a long time and we dated a young age. So I just, I like we were at a really like huge comfort level. I didn’t even think you could get any closer, but it has been so cool to see like just how close you can get if you really like open up to your spouse. I think one thing that’s huge for me and Sam is like we are each other’s best friends. There’s nothing that I’m telling other people in my life that I wouldn’t tell him about. In fact, he’s really the only person that I tell everything too. And I know that is help so much in our marriage.

I know a lot of people say that like having kids changes your marriage. And I’ve heard it both ways where it’s good and bad. I would say nothing but good things about having kids. I mean, yes, it’s gonna shake things up. And yes, you have to find your new normal and there’s less you time and like time for just you. But then I feel like it really makes you appreciate that alone time that you get like genuinely I’ve been so excited counting down the days to our date night tonight for our anniversary. And I just feel like before, like eight nights were just something that you just did. And I feel like I didn’t appreciate it as much. So I feel like having kids has made us even more aware and like grateful for the time that we do get alone and also kind of helps you remember the importance of it. Also, I will say nothing has made me more attractive to Sam and watching him be a dad. When you really know someone and how they operate in the way their brain works and how they kind of respond to certain things. It’s a lot easier to work through anything, to resolve, to do all the things. Like, it’s actually crazy. I’m not gonna say that we don’t fight, but I am gonna say we don’t fight because I feel like fighting is like yelling, getting mad, like just a big ordeal. But I would say more like we disagree. Sometimes we disagree, we argue as couples should. But it’s been really cool to see how like our disagreements have shifted so much throughout our years of fair edge. That’s kind of my key takeaways. I love Sam so much. I love that we’ve had the life that we’ve had together. And I’m so grateful for our marriage, for the family that we have and just all the memories that we’ve created together.

Cite it for tonight. We’re going to dinner and then honestly TBD on the other activity. We’re gonna kind of see how long our dinner goes. And then we might go to top Golf, we might go to a movie, we might just go shopping. Like, I don’t really know. And I’m kind of excited to just see where the night takes us. Well, makeup is all done. Gotta figure out what I’m gonna do with this hair. But thanks for watching. Happy 9 years does.