Navigating Toxic Relationships: Recognizing Gaslighting, Overcoming Rejection, and Prioritizing Self-Respect

If you are in a relationship of any kind with someone, and you feel as if you are constantly having to prove yourself and you’re constantly having to explain yourself and you feel like they’re just misunderstanding you. And if you just say this one thing this way, then maybe they’ll finally get it. That is not your person. Those are not your people. There are some people in this world who are hell bent on making sure that you know you’re not right about anything. You don’t know anything you can possibly know what you’re talking about.

There are some people who are hell bent because of the hate in their heart. They’re hellbent on misunderstanding you and making you feel as if you are crazy and out of place and that you don’t belong. They don’t even understand who the they are. So instead of taking that and doing the inner work and investing in themselves and their own journey and their own healing, they take it and turn it outward and try to gasp you and make it seem like you’re crazy because you do have some kind of root set in and you understand who you are.

And listen, real talk between friends. It’s normal to be jealous. It’s normal to be a little envious of people, but it’s what you do with those feelings that matter. If ever I see someone, I’m feel a little envious, a little jelly gel, I’ll sit and be like, you know what, why do I feel this way? What’s going on in here and in here that I need to look at this check engine. Like what is it trying to tell me? I’ll take it to my therapist. I will journal. But there are some people who would take that and become a hater and try to tear other people down. I’m gonna use myself as an example.

Back in my people pleaser days, there used to be people who, you know, oh, oh my gosh, I really wanna be their friend. And they were constantly reject me and I just wanna be their friend. So better, I really wanna date this person. And every single time, 10 out of 10, if I ever got into that person’s inner circle, I would either realize by the way they treated others or by how they treated me. Their rejection was Protection. And I know that’s a corny quote that a lot of us have heard in some way, shape or form, but it’s so true. If someone is pushing you away, if someone is rejecting you, it’s not always because you’re an awful person. And, you know, sometimes it’s maybe because you are an awful person and you need to look into that and to work on it. But sometimes, just sometimes it’s because you’re not a horrible person and the light that shines within you, they feel will out shine them.

For example, there have been so many people on this very app who I thought, you know what, we might could be cool outside of the app. And they were like, yeah, no. And I’m just like, okay, cool. And I met so many other people outside of the app who are actually cool people. I didn’t even worry about the people who rejected me. But upon further investigation, those people who rejected me are actually not very cool. There’s no substance to them. They get on this app and they perform.

There was once this woman who told me a long time ago, I don’t want nobody that don’t want me. I don’t care of. His family, friends, romantic relationships, a click at your job, a click at your school, whoever, whatever. If they don’t want you around, don’t be around them. Because I think you’re a cool person. I’d wanna hang out with you. People who are shitty, they got stuff they got to work on and it’s not your responsibility to fix it, nor is it your responsibility to be their human punching bag for all their . Leave and be, move on.