Why Being Nice After a Breakup is the Ultimate Revenge Strategy

I know you wanna get revenge, but please don’t do it. And let me tell you why. Every single person I know that’s young, unhealed, or is their first experience to dating. Whenever they’re heartbroken, whenever they get their heartbroken by somebody, whether it be cheating, the guide feels that I love you, whatever it be, usually something malicious like cheating, something gone wrong, they instantly wanna get revenge.

I’m gonna his friend. I’m gonna talk to other guys. I’m gonna sleep with somebody he knows. I’m gonna move on as quick as possible. I want to hurt him and I get why that is. You’re angry. You don’t know how else to deal with it because you don’t want to deal with your feelings. This is why most people do it. This is why we’ve got a whole bunch of people that are hurt, are running around hurting other people by using other people. It’s a show. But let me tell you why that doesn’t work.

1, men and women are very different about how are they every breakups. But one of our biggest similarities is about how we act when we’re hurt. So for instance, a lot of us, when we’re hurt, we wanna go to anger. Why is that? Why do we want to hate RX? Well, we want to hate RX because it’s so much easier to move on when there’s hatred. When we hate someone, it’s much easier to go, we’ll them their dig. So yeah, why would I not move on? Whereas when someone’s nice, it’s very hard. And this is where the best thing you can do when you go for a break up, ladies, is be nice.

And I don’t mean b’s friend. I don’t mean hold his hand through it. I don’t mean be lovely to him if you cheat on you. I mean go out with Grace, with your head held high and being perfectly polite about it. Don’t do none this revenge . And the biggest reason for this is every single guy I’ve spoken to, every X that’s been very transparent with me, has said for men, because one of the biggest emotions they know how to feel is anger, rage, all of the big emotions, like all of the really big dangerous emotions that they don’t do well with.

Feeling sad. So they get angry instead, which makes sense because most of the time when we’re heartbroken, that turns to hate because we are hurt. They’ve always said that when they can hate their eggs, a lot easier to move on. Whereas when that girls are good girl, when that girls are nice girl, it’s so much harder to move on because I can’t even hate her. I’ve got nothing to hate.

I’m trying to find things. I’m trying to poke the bear. They’ll often do things on purpose to rile you up to get a response. So then you can snap back at them and therefore you can say, I hate you. And then they’re like, oh, thank God I can hate you too now. And it’s like a, you know, push, pull back and forth, just snapping at each other. When you’re nice, it’s a lot harder to get with you. So they’ll push you on purpose so that you snap, so that they can then go, I hate you too. If you are nice and you’re not triggered. If you’re nice and you don’t reply. If you’re nice and you go out of your head held high, no contact, and you just go out as a really graceful, classy woman. That is so much harder to move on from because if I can’t hate her, how do I let go of her?

Especially for people like men who don’t know how to do their emotions very well when it comes to the sadness element of their emotions, who are used to disguising sadness with anger. How do I hate her? How can I get over if I don’t hate her? That’s why most of us turn to hate after a breakup is easier. So if the guy can’t hate you, he’s left a ponder about the breakup, about why you broke up, about the kind of woman you are. And every guy has been so honest with me and said, when I can’t hate my ex, it takes me years to get over her. So for all these girls I like, I want him to regret it. Do you really think he’s gonna regret it if you his friend? Do you really think he’s gonna regret it if he hears that you slept with somebody? At first, he might be like, oh, my God, that really hurt. To go with you. Whereas if you don’t do any of that, it’s so much harder to move on because I’ve gotta be constantly made aware of how nice you are. My ex wife, she was so sweet. I did her so dirty. That’s when the guilt comes in. For a guy to have guilt, he has to realize that he’s hurt a good person. If you do something bad, he’s gonna convince himself you’re not a good person. So if you really want him to feel the repercussions of this, break up. Be as nice as possible. And I don’t mean being nice to him, being his friend. I really wanna emphasize that. I mean, go out classy as . Don’t raise your voice, don’t swear, don’t shout like you can obviously express your feelings and be like, you’ve really hurt me. I can’t believe you’ve done this. I loved you so much, like blah, blah. Cool. But if you go out making a massive hara and then doing something really big, it’s so much easy to move past you cuz he’ll think, headache, it’s not worth it. This is why I broke up with us. See, this is the reason we’re not together.

Look at her response. They won’t take accountability. They don’t take responsibility for the fact that your reaction is a byproduct of what they’ve done to you. They’ll just make it easier in their heads to move past you cuz they’ll tell themselves you’re a problem.

So go out, come, go out gracefully. And it’s hard and open your hair is so hard. But if you really want him to fill the repercussions, if you really want to feel any kind of indication of that woman was actually right or dying, I’ve really it. Go out. Nice supply. And just on top of that, any single time I tried to get over a guy, if I get him someone else, when I was younger, much younger, if I have a slept with somebody afterwards thinking that would help, it never did. It made me feel like . And that makes guys also feel like . If a guy is quite in tune with himself emotionally, it’s not just a woman’s thing. It affects us more usually cuz guys will persevere and carry on doing it, but a lot of guys also will say, no, I don’t like it. A lot of guys are quite honest with themself. They get personal clarity. Feels like . So even if you’re just doing it for that reason, the fact that you’ve got to live with the fact that didn’t work and that made you feel . Don’t do it for that reason either. But if you genuinely want him to reflect, if you genuinely want him to think about it, to think about the kind of woman he’s missed out on, he’s never gonna regret it with a girl that doesn’t make bad afterwards, but he’s always gonna be forced to think about it. If you were a good woman.