Navigating Emotions and Letting Go: Finding Strength in Acceptance

So I saw this TikTok yesterday of this girl talking and I can’t stop thinking about it. And basically she was saying that when she was 23 and she was set to marry the guy she thought was love of her life, she thought her wedding day was like the happiest day of her life. And then she found out like years later that once you had a kid with him, that he was doing the worst things you can imagine possible. And she was like, so the happiest day of my life was actually my biggest regret and like one of the worst days of my life, right? The day she married this guy and she was like, I didn’t know that at the time, right? And she was like, God knew it. And she actually like prayed for God to like give her a sign that he was like saying okay to the marriage. Like he would open some flowers and the flowers ended up rotting but she just ignored it.

And I hate stop thinking about it because I’m going through, I’m I’ve been feeling sad lately and I’ve been trying to apply this to my life. Like I don’t actually know if I got everything that I wanted and everything went the way I wanted it to. Maybe that would have been worse for me, like, if I wasn’t going through this bad time right now, maybe I would be going through a horrible, worst time five years from now, eight years from now. Right. And I would wish that I was going through this right now. So maybe this is actually like a really positive, good time for me. And I’m just, and I’m just making, I’m making things up.

Cuz at the end of the day, when things don’t work out for you, you don’t know what would have actually happened if it went any other way. Like when you think about loss, like I think about doors that have closed and I’m like, I wish this would have happened. I wish that would have happened. That’s because I’m making up that if those things had happened, it would have been good for me, right? Like if this thing would have happened for me, then I would be happier and my life would be better and this would be easier and, you know, whatever. But if that thing happened for me, it could have actually been devastating.

Cuz I don’t have all the information. I’m just making up, right? That it would have been good. Just like I’m making up that this right now is bad cuz I’m sad. And so I’ve been reading this book called Letting Go and it talks about that. And I think that’s a really great way cuz it has these emotions, right? And so the very bottom one is guilt. The very top one is love, right? So I’ve been living in kind of like grief, fear, but even just like realizing that you don’t have all the information and like maybe what you think is bad is good, like immediately takes you up to courage. Like immediately you jump from here all the way up to here. Like you have the courage to look at things and realize that maybe you don’t know everything, and maybe things are going the way that they should. And so in this book, it’s talking about how a lot of times we have these feelings, right? And then we try, we look for reasons that the feeling is valid, right? And we go on these thoughts, right? We have these thoughts instead of paying attention to the feeling and how it actually like feels in our body and just accepting it and not trying to change it. We try to fight against it, which keeps us holding the feeling, right? And then it’s gonna come back up cuz it’s suppressed or we try to fight against it or we go down that and we give that feeling a thought and you’re like, okay, well, I’m feeling sad because I lost this, right? I lost this. And then you think, well, if I wouldn’t have lost this, then this and this would have happened. And I wanted that to happen. And that makes me sad about. And you keep going.

So instead of paying attention in the feeling, your thoughts perpetuate the feeling. So this is what called letting go. It’s like really good. And it talks about how like your feelings only ever last like 20 minutes if you just actually like sit with the feeling and don’t try to resist it or change it or give into it. You just accept that you’re feeling this way. Like my heart feels heavy in my chest, you know, and instead of trying to like give it reasons why, that’s just how I feel right now, you know, and that’s okay. And I can feel like this. And it also talks about how one of the easier ways to like let things go is you let things go piece by piece. So if you’re looking at a horrible like traumatizing event that just happened to you, don’t try to take on like the whole traumatizing event. Break it down and just let go of this like of pieces of it, right? So maybe this thing that I didn’t want to happen to me and I can accept giving up some of the things I imagined were going to happen. They won’t happen anymore. So I can accept that. Right? And then you can accept more and more of those little pieces. You can even break it down like, okay, I accept that I’m an actress, right? So I accept that I didn’t get this movie, so I won’t be in this movie. I can accept that. I don’t have to accept the whole breakdown of like, this would have been life changing and all of these amazing things could have happened to me. And, but I don’t have to do all that. I just accept this one movie, right? Or like this one guy, I won’t get this experience with this one guy.

That’s okay, right? You have to give up. You don’t have to take on all of the trauma at one time, which I think is helpful. So this says, and this is like in the first chapter of the book, page 35, and then one begins to empty out the energy of the feeling directly by letting it be what it is until it runs out. And it also talks about how just dealing with the feeling, like one feeling can bring up thousands of thoughts. And so if you just deal with the feeling directly, it’s much less time consuming than trying to sort out all your all of your thoughts about it. Yeah, so it also says when you’re handling like emotional crisis, you can push down like suppress the feeling as much as you can, like consciously so that you can deal with it little by little. But it, but he also says like you need to like deal with feelings cuz over this one big emotional crisis, there’s like lots of little feelings you have. So you have like fear, you have guilt, you have anger, right? And you have to just deal with each one as it comes.

But then he also says you need to heal it, right? Like you need to accept it. Because when we look at our lives, we will see the residuals of past life crises, which are unresolved thoughts and feelings about the events tend to occur and color our perception. So he also says like when we have all of these like suppressed feelings in our body, we look for outlets for them. We find in our perception of the world now it’s tainted with like this feeling that you’re holding in. So maybe it’s like anger. So the angry person sees the world and there’s lots of insults in it. The hurt, sad person sees the world and there’s lots of people hurting them. Like the happy person sees the world and there’s lots of reasons to be happy. So when you hold on to these emotions, it colors and distorts your perception because these emotions don’t like being trapped and they’re looking for an outlet. So they’re looking, your reality begins to shift into something that justifies the way that you’re feeling. Cuz we’re always looking to justify the way that we’re feeling.

And this is like a positive spin on this. It says, once you’ve like handled a crisis, you will never again feel the same from going through like a similar crisis like this guy is talking about, a guy who lost his job. Thus the man who successfully handles the crisis of losing a job will never again experience that same fear cuz he’s already been through it. He already knows he can handle it. And it talks about how you will become more confident and more compassionate when you know you can get through things that are hurtful or traumatic, right? Like I’ve gone through this now I never have to be scared of going through something like this again because I can go through it.

And so here, yeah, it also says it’s a conscious choice to like let go of these feelings, right? And you have to look at the payoffs cuz you’re getting a payoff, right? So I haven’t heard. And if I hold on to that, then I get the payoff of being angry, right? And that’s like some form of self protect Protection, you know, that’s like a very week payoff, but there’s some energy to that makes me wanna go work out, you know. But if I can just accept the feeling of being hurt and like processing it, then I also will stop resisting good emotions. So once you stop resisting bad emotions, you’ll stop resisting good emotions anyways.

To tie this all back in, I think that girl’s story is a really good way to consciously accept that the things you think are bad right now might be the best things that have ever happened to you. You know, and the things you think were good that you missed out on, literally, again, might be so grateful. You might be so grateful if you knew everything that those things didn’t happen to you. And that’s like the human condition. You just don’t know to YouTube. use what it is for your life。